I worked in retail for five years in a neighborhood of filthy rich people who thought the world was their oyster. Every few months, we had a coupon sale in the store for a coffee brand that is very popular here. I drink it every morning. The coupon made it substantially cheaper than what it would cost without it. And naturally, people flocked to the store and bought it every day the sale was going on.

There was one woman who would come to the store and shamelessly present me with three coupons for three containers of coffee. We only allowed one use of the coupon per customer.

She was so determined. We would tell her no every time. So, she would take just one and then come back in the afternoon after a shift change to buy the rest.

It’s like she needed it.

I remember how we used to joke about how it was so embarrassing for her to do it. What was so special about that coffee that she bought so much of it?

We never knew, and at some point, she stopped coming at all.

Now, after working for eight years in the high-tech industry and writing code for a living, I’m sad to say I have become just like her. When there’s a sale on that specific coffee brand, I purchase multiple of them. The difference is that I mobilize other people to buy it for me: my mom and a friend from work.

Working in retail was the best thing I did in my life to understand how to talk to people. Thank you again for all you do for us, retail workers!

CONTENT WARNING: Dark Humor

I have a five-foot-zero coworker. She is obviously pregnant, but this seems to make customers think they can just waltz up to her and place their hands on her belly.

She’s scolded the customers about this, who have in turn complained to managers, who have in turn told her to just deal with it. 

Coworker: “Fine… I will deal with it.”

One shift, I notice this exchange. A customer once again touches [Coworker]’s belly. 

Customer: “Oh, congratulations!”

Coworker: *Backing away* “Please don’t touch me.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m a mother, so it’s okay. How far along are you?”

Coworker: *Holding her belly* “This is a tumor.” 

Customer: *Horrified* “Oh… I… Oh…”

Coworker: “Are you asking how long I have left? About six months.”

Customer: *Possibly traumatized, tearing up, backing away* “I… I’m so sorry, I…”

The customer rushes out of the store.

Me: *Trying not to laugh* “I think you just traumatized that woman.”

Coworker: “Maybe next time she’ll think twice before walking up to a total stranger and placing her uninvited hands on their bodily protrusions!” 

[Coworker] gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. When she brought him into the store for us to coo over, she said to me, “Here’s my little tumor!”

I worked in a vitamin store while I was in college. This was a pretty boring store for kids; they never came in without their parents.

Kids wandering a mall only really go to fun stores at that age, right? But two girls came into our vitamin store, no adult with them. They were the age where kids are just old enough to be walking around a mall without their parents — maybe eleven or twelve at the absolute oldest.

Girl: “Excuse me, where are the chewable vitamins? It’s usually [Brand].”

I was surprised she knew the name of it. My colleague handed her the bottle, and the girls said thank you. The first girl showed the vitamins to her friend. They handed the bottle back to my colleague, said thank you again, and left.

They came back probably fifteen minutes later with their moms, went right to the spot, and showed it to one of the moms. They then picked out the same brand bottle but for older people. Then, I saw that they had come in with an older lady who was walking very slowly, probably a grandma or even a great-grandma. The girls had run ahead to minimize the time it took for her to be standing or walking around the store looking for vitamins.

I told the other mom how the girls were the politest kids we had ever met, and her eyes got kind of big, but she looked pleased and said thank you. The mom bought the vitamins. The girls said thank you to us (my coworker and me), and that was it.

A simple and not a crazy story, but when you work in retail, having customers so well-behaved is actually kinda crazy.

I am shopping in a high-end grocery chain in one of the pricier neighborhoods in my city. I am browsing some prepared foods near the customer service desk, which also serves as an express checkout for ten items or less. 

I hear a woman raise her voice and look over to see a thirty-something man standing at the express register with what is clearly more than ten items. I passed the line on my way over to prepared foods, and it was at least six people deep. The line for self-checkout and the cashiers are longer, with at least ten people in each. 

An employee at the customer service desk is the woman who raised her voice. She tells the man she can’t check him out since he has so many items. 

Employee: “I don’t have time for this. There are signs. This line is ten items or less. You have too much.”

Customer: “So, you’re saying I need to pack up all this stuff and then get back in line?”

Employee: “Yes.”

And with that, she walked away. I watched him sheepishly pack his stuff back up while the woman behind him screamed that they were strict about the limit. When I got in line later, I saw him waiting again, but this time in the correct line.

Since I’ve been a long-time reader of this site, I did make sure I told a manager, who smiled and thanked me. She said the woman was merely enforcing policy, and she also worked back there herself, so she understood.

Honestly, it felt so good to watch!

Dear readers,

Today is National Fitness Day and National Kids Fitness Day in the US! There’s no one “right” way to do fitness. For some people, it’s walking their dog daily or doing yoga in the backyard before work. For others, it’s biking or hiking. And for some people, it means joining a gym.

We’ve rounded up 14 stories from the Not Always Right archives about drama at the gym. Grab your sweatbands and enjoy! (But you may want to stretch first.)

Gender Stereotypes Are A Weighty Subject – But women have such dainty, delicate wittle fingies! (/sarcasm)

A Hilarious Image Of Perfection – This is why you join a gym. (And leave the kid at home!)

Oh, Mother! – Hits from the comments: “We have a sick child, here’s a parent, problem solved.” (Credit: Pepperbrony)

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